Grace Under Pressure
by AoifeRose
Summary: Addison has a really bad day - Charlotte consoles her. Long Time reader, first time writer. All criticism gratefully recieved!


Addison sat in the staff room at St. Ambrose staring at a cup of coffee that had long since lost all warmth and taste. It was 4 a.m. and she had no inclination to move. Her limbs felt like lead and her head was pounding with a headache that started somewhere deep in the recesses of her brain and ended right behind her eyes. She had lost all sense of time when surgery finished at 11 p.m. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there only that the footfall in the room had become less and less in the last while. Somewhere a clock was ticking but she couldn't or more to the point didn't want to look up.

When the door opened she didn't look up, same as she hadn't done the last 40 times. It closed and she felt eyes on her. Not the first time since she was sitting there still in purple scrubs with a scrub cap on. She looked ready for action, but she was far from it. However, this time the 'Ahem' that followed forced her to turn her head. She noted that her neck was stiff from sitting in the same position for so long and she winced as she turned to look at the other person.

'Montgomery it's 4 in the morning, you don't even work here full-time that I'm aware of, and yet you've been here longer than some of my interns today. So unless you want a permanent post I suggest you go home'. Wonderful, just what she needed, Charlotte telling her what to do. 'Charlotte, I live alone. No-one monitors my coming and going anymore. I don't need your advice. I'll leave when I'm good and ready to'.

Charlotte bit back a retort about her latest squeeze waiting for her in bed. She sensed that the redhead was in no mood for an argument and at 4 a.m. she didn't really have the energy to have one with her anyway. An RTA had taken up the last 3 hours of her shift and she was ready for bed. An empty bed in an empty house. But bed was bed and she needed a few hours away from here. However first off she needed to get Addison out of here. She cared about her wellbeing even if Addison didn't seem to at the moment. She walked towards the sideboard and made two cups of coffee. Addison barely noticed as the other one was removed from in front of her and the new cup set down. Charlotte sat down at the circular table. Far enough so she was out of swinging distance if Addison decided she was in the mood for a fight, but close enough so she could have a quiet conversation.

'Listen Montgomery I heard what happened today. You did everything you could. That little girl just wasn't destined to live here on earth for long'. Addison eyes rose to meet Charlotte's. The last thing she expected was something so tender and meaningful to come out of the blonde's mouth. 'Her momma got to hold her and say goodbye before she died, and although that don't seem like much at the moment, it'll be a hell of a comfort to her in the days to come when she needs something to cling onto'.

Addison didn't know what to say. Charlotte took a sip of her coffee and sat there. She didn't want to make Addison feel like she had to talk about it. In situations like this her own personal preference was to go running – get away from anyone who wanted to talk and run like hell. But she could sense that Addison was running already – in her mind – not physically. Problem was she wasn't escaping she was running in circles thinking about little Grace and wondering 'What If'. And no good could come of it, none at all.

It wasn't an awkward silence. It was just calm. Addison finally reached for the coffee and took a sip. 'Charlotte....' she started the sentence but it was too hard to finish. Tears began to prick the corner of her eyes as she felt a hand on hers. 'Charlotte I just....'

'I know, I know, its ok' She began to rub the back of Addison's hand as she moved her chair closer.

'I tried you know I tried so hard'. The tears began to fall. 'What the hell is wrong with me?

'Addison you've had the day from hell. It happens to us all. You're allowed to feel like you've been hit by a steam roller. You're allowed to cry and scream and do damage to inanimate objects. Hell you're allowed to do damage to animate ones, so long as it's me and so long as you bruise where no-one can see!'

Addison knew that the Charlotte was being sincere. The tone of her voice, and the fact that she had used her first name rather than her surname spoke volumes. 'Don't worry Charlotte I'm not going to beat you up. I feel like I've been beat up myself and knowing how it feels I wouldn't inflict it on another living soul – even if it is you'

Charlotte laughed and for the first time in what felt like days Addison smiled.

'Montgomery it's time to go home. You were on your feet for 4 hours in the O.R. And by my calculation Grace's T.O.D was 5 hours ago. That means you've been here for 10 hours. Only I am allowed to spend that long here'

'Grace?'

'Yes Grace, that's what they called her, Grace Maria Benton'

'Beautiful name, just a shame she couldn't be around long enough to honour it. Dammit'. The tears which had abated began to fall slowly again. 'You're right I should go home'. Addison pushed back the chair not wanting to let Charlotte see her so weak, but as she stood her vision blurred and she began to sway. Charlotte was on her feet in an instant and although Addison had a foot on her in height her strong arms caught her around her waist and sat her back down.

'Sorry I've just been sitting too long' Addison said as she tried to stand again. But Charlotte held her hand against her shoulder to stop her from standing. She was standing right in front of Addison and her force was enough to keep her in place, as Addison was still weak. 'I want to check your BP before you go anywhere Charlotte said as she took her stethoscope from around her neck. 'Charlotte don't be so ridi....' but before she could finish Charlotte had the cold metal slipped under her scrub top and pressed to her chest and her fingers on her wrist. 'Just let me do it, no arguing'. The tiredness that enveloped her stopped Addison protesting and she tried to breathe normally. Something was causing her to breathe faster though and Charlotte noticed this as she took her BP. 'Ok it's a little on the high side but its ok'. Charlotte was pretty sure if someone measured her BP at this point it would be a bit on the high side as well. 'Sit for a few minutes and it should be back to normal'. 'Charlotte I've been sitting still for the last 5 hours'. 'Yes you have but you didn't make any sudden movements in that space of time and that sudden dash for the door did you no favours. Now just sit there and do what you're told'. 'Ok. Who am I to argue with the Chief'. She laid her head on the table as Charlotte moved to one side, her head still a bit woozy. 'Hey you're getting the hang of this 'I'm in charge stuff Montgomery I'm impressed' Charlotte mocked as she sat on the table. Her instinct was to reach out and stroke the back of Addison's neck to ease the tension that she knew was knotted there. And as much as the voices in her head screamed _'what the hell are you__doing'_ her body just seemed to react to the other woman's pain. She reached down and began to rub the nape of Addison's neck. She massaged the back of her neck and moved her right shoulder. Addison moaned as Charlotte eased the physical pain that the day had caused. She felt Charlottes hands leave her for a few seconds and the petite beauty rise from beside her on the table. But moments later she felt those hands on both of her shoulders massaging her deeply and causing her sit up and back into the strong hands. 'Jesus Charlotte where the hell did you learn to be so good at this?' 'It's a gift I suppose. I've just always been able to ease people's physical pain. Probably why I became a doctor. I was close to training to become a masseuse but you can imagine what that would have done to my Daddy'. Addison moaned again as Charlotte went deeper into the muscles of her shoulders. All too short a time passed until Charlotte removed her hands. She placed a kiss on the side of Addison's neck and as she removed her lips that little voice in her head was back saying _'seriously what the hell are you doing?_' 'There I think that should do it. Roll your shoulders for me and tell me how they feel?' Addison realised straight away that there was an improvement and as she stood her head was clearer and her posture much better. 'Thank You Charlotte' she said as she turned to face her. She reached for one of the hands which had moments earlier given her such relief and said 'These really are pretty amazing. But they're not the only things that make you a good doctor you know? I don't often cry in front of people. And when I do it's usually for a bloody good reason. And tonight instead of judging me or telling me 'that's life, that's the job', you listened to what I wasn't saying and you were just there when I needed someone. I won't forget that'. Addison leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Charlotte cheek. She smiled as she saw the formidable medic blush. 'What are you smiling at?' Charlotte asked defensively. 'You' Addison replied simply. She leaned again and kissed Charlotte gently on the lips. You're quite cute when you blush, did you know that?' she said pulling away to see the blush deepen. 'If I'd known it would illicit this kind of response from you I might have kept my hands to myself' 'Really would you?' Addison asked quietly, worried she'd read the situation completely wrong. 'Hey you know you're the one started this with your hands all over me!' she started defensively. But Charlotte raised a finger to her lips and quietened her. 'No I wouldn't have Addison, I wouldn't have kept my hands to myself because I could see how much pain you were in and I can't bear to see you in pain'. Charlotte leaned in and kissed her hard on the lips. I can't bear to see anything happen to you she said as she leaned in again to capture her lips as she pushed hard against Addison's body. She moaned as she felt Addison's tongue slip gently past her lips and into her mouth. The kiss deepened and Addison felt pretty sure that her legs were going to give way again if she didn't sit down. She brought Charlotte back towards the table kissing her the whole time as felt her legs hit the edge of the table. She sat on top of it and pulled Charlotte in between her legs as they continued to explore each other's mouths. Addison was the first to pull away from the kiss and as she did she felt Charlottes head fall against her chest. She brought her arm around her waist and began to stroke her blonde hair softly with her free hand. She whispered into her ear breathlessly 'Charlotte I think it's time we both left', but I'd prefer it if you left with me, came home with me, and well we'll just see. I'm not pushing for anything and I don't want to rush it. Right at this moment in time if I could stay in the position we're in right now lying down in my bed I'd be happy. 'Mmhhm was all she could hear from her companion'. 'Ok we're gona try this on 3. 1, 2, 3...' She slid from the table but Charlotte remained in place against her chest. 'Charlotte we can't walk out of here like this or you'll be the topic of gossip for the next month' Addison said as she leaned down to kiss the top of her head. 'Ok, sorry I think tiredness is setting in for me too' 'Charlotte King getting tired, I didn't think that happened' Addison said with a lighter note in her voice than Charlotte had heard all night. 'Yes smartass it does happen occasionally Charlotte said pulling back from Addison's chest. So are you going to take me home or am I going to have to beg'. 'Much as that sounds like an exciting prospect, and something I'd really like to see, I don't think I'll be in a place to make you beg tonight.' I owe you for that massage! 'Don't worry I'll think of a way for you to pay me back' Charlotte winked at Addison as she slipped out of her white coat and hung it in her locker. Addison followed suit and took off her scrub cap and slipped a long coat over her scrubs, she wasn't in the mood to change. As they walked towards the staff room door Charlotte stopped and Addison turned to face her. 'Before we leave I need you to tell me something, all joking aside Addison. You understand that today wasn't your fault. That baby Grace didn't die because of anything you did. You did everything you could'. Addison was silent for a moment as she looked into Charlottes beautiful blue eyes and then replied 'yes I know'. 'Good that's all I needed to hear'. Charlotte grabbed her hand and they walked out of the staff room together. 'Charlotte what are you doing, people will see'. But the corridor was deserted as Charlotte was sure it would be at 5 a.m. 'Your car or mine she asked as they reached the car park'. 'Mine' Addison said. If we're heading for mine I can drop you here in the morning on my way in, it's easier'. 'Montgomery have you thought about this before – you seem to have it all figured out?' Addison smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss. I may have thought about it once or twice she admitted with a shy smile. 'Good cause so had I' Charlotte smiled. Addison had never thought it would happen, and especially not under these circumstances. But she was so glad it had and now all she could think about were three things, holding Charlotte, kissing Charlotte and bed in whatever order that might happen.


End file.
